Stay tuned, it's getting even more exciting now!!

I received the email I have been impatiently waiting for! Oregon Reproductive Medicine, the fertility clinic, reviewed all my medical records and has cleared me to be a surrogate!! The person I need to talk with to schedule my appointment is out of the office until tomorrow. The next 19 hours are going to crawl by. Hopefully I will be on a plane heading to Oregon in February. We still have a lot of steps to take before we have a growing baby in my belly, but we are getting close! 

The picture below is a rough timeline as to what steps we need to take yet. I'm sure this will change a bit. Every fertility clinic does things a little different and every surrogacy, IVF transfer is unique to the people involved. As we enter each one of the steps I will go into much more detail about the process and our individual experience and story. 

Stay tuned, it's getting even more exciting now!!

Just A Little Update

Happy Friday!

I don't have a whole lot of new info at this time. I did receive word that Oregon Reproductive medicine has received my file and will be reviewing it this week. I should get a call in the next week to schedule my appointment at the fertility clinic to have my medical screening. If all goes as planned then I will start my hormone injections shortly after I'm cleared from medical!

The intended parents, Shannon and Steve, and I have chosen an insurance plan that covers surrogacy. My new plan will go into effect on February 1. 

This is 2 big things checked off of my "I'm impatient and don't want to wait" list! WOOHOO

Hurry Up And Wait

Having my husband in the Army has taught me many lessons in life. The one I struggled most with was patience. Today I thank god that the Army forced me to learn how to be just a little more patient (their choice, not mine). At this time we are waiting on many things:

We are waiting on a new health insurance plan (one that covers surrogacy). 

We are waiting for our appointment to meet with the attorney to write up contracts. 

We are waiting on my medical exam to be scheduled.

I don't wait well. 

I am so dang excited to get this all moving!!!! This whole surrogacy thing is a process. I keep telling myself that we are all on this journey together and journeys take time.Once we get through these appointments then it will be on to Oregon to the fertility clinic!

Unicorns and Rainbows

Not everyone is going to support me on this road of surrogacy and I'm OK with that. What gets my blood boiling though is when people think I'm doing this for the wrong reasons. After being publicly accused of this on Facebook I decided to take a break for a day from the blog and to reflect on it. I prayed about what I should say and how I should react. I have said from day one that I was going to be real on this blog. This journey isn't going to be a story that is always about unicorns are rainbows. The good, the bad, and the ugly. This post unfortunately starts off as one of the ugliest ones.

After a lot of time reflecting and praying it was very clear that this was a calling. Being a surrogate is a service. By this I mean you are making money off of it. One thing that really bothered me in the beginning of all of this was when people would say how selfless I was being for doing this for another family. FALSE! I am being payed to do so! However, if you are considering being a surrogate just for the money then you are doing it for all the wrong reasons.

Yesterday I was accused of  "doing this for a paycheck". Your right! I'm doing this for a paycheck. How much would you personally charge to go through months of testing and medical appointments? traveling over night to fertility clinics (mine is in Oregon)?
Giving your self hormone injections for weeks?
Being pregnant for 9 months crying out loud!?!?!
 Lets all remember what that entails: morning sickness, being exhausted, cramps, pains, sleepless nights, heartburn, food cravings, weight gain, the list goes on and on.....
Lastly, LABOR!!!!!! That's right, excruciating pain of pushing a child out of your vagina!
What would your price tag be????

My Compensation as a surrogate will break down to $1.90 an hour. So please, if you are considering being a surrogate because of the "paycheck" then think again! If you don't have a passion to do this for someone then DON'T!! The is a gift, a blessing, a SELFLESS act that you are doing. It took me a while to accept that term, but when you break down what you are about to endure then you bet your butt it is a selfless act!!!

Thanks for listening to the rant. I give the glory to god for this journey. When people have hateful things to say it makes me question my decision to do this. God has lifted me up are reminded me he is by side through all of this and he WILL carry me!

I am officially not crazy!!!

Last week Dave and I had to drive to Denver for a Psych evaluation. By Gods grace I was deemed sane! Neither Dave or I had any clue as to what to expect from this appointment with the psychologist. 

It began just like you would expect it to..... A nice fountain with trickling water, leather couches, dimmed lighting, relaxing music, and blankets to make your self comfortable. Dr. Wilson was very comforting and made us both feel great about the entire process. She asked us both a lot about us individually as well as to how we were raised and family values.

After getting to know us she went into a lot of detail about being a surrogate and what it takes mentally to do. We came to a few conclusions: 

1) As great as it is that I'm going to lend another couple my oven, I am not a hero. Dave is the true hero since he will have to put up with me. :)

2) I was afraid that maybe my mindset wasn't right for doing this. I brought up the concern that I was worried I may come emotionally attached to this child (children) I was considering carrying. I mean you feel the kicks and hiccups and grow a relationship for 9 months with these little humans, how can't you feel an attachment to them? Dr. Wilson said if I didn't feel this way THEN she would be worried. This was so reassuring to know that I was feeling all the emotions I should. Going into this process you know this is a gift you are giving to another couple. Handing off a little life to them will be such an incredible feeling. 

3) Dr. Wilson explained how the hardest part for most surrogates is after delivery. During the pregnancy and the months before you build such a relationship with the intended parents. You text, you call, you FaceTime, you go to Dr appointments, etc... After the birth they are home with a newborn. They don't have the time to update you like you did to them. What she explained made perfect sense. I get it, I have been there. Her suggestion was to plan a family vacation following the birth. This will give me something to look forward to afterwards and something to plan. It will give my family time to reconnect and be a "normal" family again. Dave and I both thought this was a great idea. Our son Jack says we should go to Disney World or McDonald's. 

The psych evaluation ended with the MMPI test. A 567 question exam to test your personality to make sure you are a good match to be a surrogate. 

I PASSED!!

Next step is the Legal Process. 

So Who Are These People Anyways?

It's no secret that this entire journey thus far has been nothing short of gods incredible work. On December 21st, 2015 I was laying in bed, unable to fall asleep. Of course, like any human being I grabbed my phone just in case someone texted me (who am I kidding). I saw I had a new e-mail (again, very odd seeing how I never get e-mail advertisements this time of day). I had an e-mail from Megan, my surrogacy coordinator, with the profile of the couple from Indiana. I read through it and cried. They were perfect. They were everything I was looking for.

Most people don't realize how much goes into being "matched" with Intended Parents. It's so so important you find a couple you can see yourself having a relationship with. Being a surrogate isn't just a business transaction, but rather a relationship you will have for a lifetime. For me it was very important that the couple I carry for has similar religious beliefs and family values. If I am going to help this couple bring a child (or two or three) into this world I want to be sure they will raise this child in a loving, well rounded environment.

After a surrogate accepts a profile the next step is for the intended parents to view the surrogate's profile. It wasn't even 24 hours later before they accepted my profile and I was on the phone with Megan scheduling my Skype date with Steve and Shannon ( the intended parents).

Meeting with Steve and Shannon and talking about both our families and what we envisioned from this experience was just spot on. There was this overwhelming sense of comfort that I was meant to do this for them.

At this point in our relationship Shannon and I converse through text message often. Being a surrogate is a long, long process. In the upcoming days I will continue to bring you all up to speed as to where I am at in this journey. From medical exams, background checks, and psych evaluations. It has been a long road, but one I am so blessed to be traveling on.

Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you

Where it all began

Being a surrogate is definitely not something you wake up morning, sit up quickly in bed, and say "hey carrying someones child sounds like a great idea"! However, my story is actually something similar. I was sitting on the couch one night after I had put my children to sleep just scrolling through Facebook like most of us do. For some reason a sponsored page was in my feed about becoming a surrogate had popped up. I made a joke to my sister in law Kelly about how I should do it. Little did I know that being a surrogate is EXACTLY what god had in store for me.

After clicking on the link and doing some research I went to bed thinking nothing would come of it. The next day I woke up and it was all I could think about. I did more research on it and brought the topic up to my husband that night. I was caught completely off guard when he thought it would be a great idea. I spent a few weeks praying about it and I felt more sure about it then ever.

Beginning of November I decided to make some calls to a few reputable agencies for more information. I must have talked to a dozen agencies which all asked me the same question in the initial interview process: Are you willing to terminate a pregnancy? My answer every time was NO. This was the end of the conversation with them all as they would not take me on as a client. I WAS SHOCKED.

At this point I figured this journey had come to an end. I kept praying about it and decided if an agency wouldn't take me on then maybe I should try to do this on my own. I joined an online surrogate site where you build a profile and intended parents can search for possible surrogates. Within a few hours a received a message from an agency through this page. I responded to the message with one simple sentence. I refuse to terminate a pregnancy for any reason, will this be a problem? Their response was "No, this will not be a problem. However, it is going to be a much longer process to match you with a couple".

I filled out the application immediately to be entered in the database expecting it to be a few years before I found a match. Within an hour I received an e-mail from Chris (the one i had been conversing back and forth with) He said you are not going to believe this but we just had a couple leave our office looking for someone just like you! I literally starting crying.

So at that moment my journey had began. Gods timing is perfect. there wasn't a doubt in my mind that I was being called to do this.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens