It began just like you would expect it to..... A nice fountain with trickling water, leather couches, dimmed lighting, relaxing music, and blankets to make your self comfortable. Dr. Wilson was very comforting and made us both feel great about the entire process. She asked us both a lot about us individually as well as to how we were raised and family values.
After getting to know us she went into a lot of detail about being a surrogate and what it takes mentally to do. We came to a few conclusions:
1) As great as it is that I'm going to lend another couple my oven, I am not a hero. Dave is the true hero since he will have to put up with me. :)
2) I was afraid that maybe my mindset wasn't right for doing this. I brought up the concern that I was worried I may come emotionally attached to this child (children) I was considering carrying. I mean you feel the kicks and hiccups and grow a relationship for 9 months with these little humans, how can't you feel an attachment to them? Dr. Wilson said if I didn't feel this way THEN she would be worried. This was so reassuring to know that I was feeling all the emotions I should. Going into this process you know this is a gift you are giving to another couple. Handing off a little life to them will be such an incredible feeling.
3) Dr. Wilson explained how the hardest part for most surrogates is after delivery. During the pregnancy and the months before you build such a relationship with the intended parents. You text, you call, you FaceTime, you go to Dr appointments, etc... After the birth they are home with a newborn. They don't have the time to update you like you did to them. What she explained made perfect sense. I get it, I have been there. Her suggestion was to plan a family vacation following the birth. This will give me something to look forward to afterwards and something to plan. It will give my family time to reconnect and be a "normal" family again. Dave and I both thought this was a great idea. Our son Jack says we should go to Disney World or McDonald's.
The psych evaluation ended with the MMPI test. A 567 question exam to test your personality to make sure you are a good match to be a surrogate.
I PASSED!!
Next step is the Legal Process.
I admire you for what you have done. It is truly wonderful! As a mother myself, I understand the hardships especially during and, in your case, after the baby's delivery, who is, indeed, a miracle. As you go through these difficulties and emotions, which are absolutely normal, just think of such gift, and how you have blessed the other couple.
ReplyDeleteCynthia @ Tomorrow's Parents